I find myself in the same place i was a few years ago. Wanting to change. Embracing the change. Its almost a new phase of my life is about to begin. Though, i ran from it so many times. I was afraid to embrace the words that were in my heart. Its probably why ive just stopped writing. But in life comes inspiration at times, and the funny thing with inspiration it can come at the most random and indifferent times. I'm use to writing in an old place. But i think that place was too much for me to go back to. So i created a new place. A place that i hope ill embrace my words more openly.
I think the time when i was happy, was when my words seemed to mean the most. When i wrote it actually seemed to mean something. I'm hoping to go back to that place, with change of course, with maturity and experience. And in the end of this entire journey, or even during I'm hoping ill find the words in life, then i shall overcome my fear and write a book. I think i know what i want for once in my life. Ive been searching, ive always known who i am deep inside and outside. Its not faith, if you use eyes. For once in my life, i can truly use the words of others, to come up with words of my own. I'm hoping the music will help me, to create the words that are in deep in my soul come to life. Ive come a long way from the guy i use to be, when i look back its amazing. I'm a complete different person, and i'm changing again. I cant stop it! No matter how i want to sometimes. I'm hoping this change is for the better. I think im finally getting to a real place. Where i can stop whining. Where i can stop and just think for once. I can just stop it all. I can go to a calm place, of reasoning and understanding. The music has helped me, it has given the pure wisdom ive needed for so long. And i think it will always continue to help me.
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living", Its time to change and grow finally, and embrace it. My mind might slip, but ive come to see the bigger picture. I just hope it isnt too late. Its never too late, i suppose. Its important to see that, "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts", But i promise i wont fall, or slip back into the past. I can make that promise because deep down in my heart, i know its over. If I could see the future and how this plays out. I bet it's better than where we are now, but after going through this.It's easier to see the reason why. Ive found "Things do not change; we change". If the change is for the better, we never know. But we have to change, its the only way life will progress. Its the only way we can be happy, in the long run. To be truly, genuinely and completely happy is a wish of everyone's. Everyday we try, we fail. The days can be good, and then the days can be very bad. But i know one thing is sure, it has to happen, because ive gone for too long, living like im not alive. So im gonna start over tonight, beginning with you and i don't want to run from anything uncomfortable, i just want ...NO... i just need this pain to end right here.
"Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer" - Shunryu Suzuki
