The Choice To Get Ahead

“You chose to get ahead. You want this life. Those choices are necessary.”

These words are stuck in my head. I feel like maybe i want “that life”. I want more than the life i have. The problem is i can’t just walk away. As much as i’d want to. As much as i know that i don’t have that luxury like a lot of people i can’t help but think about it. It’s not a crime for wanting more in life and wanting “the life”. Especially when you’re willing to work for it. But what if you’re stuck at a point where moving is not possible right now? Let’s not forget the fact that there’s the fear of moving downward instead forward. But what if you’re forcing yourself to stay still to avoid anything from changing for the worst? 

After you’ve exhausted all those possible scenarios, you can’t help but wonder what if things change for the better? Would you be able to handle it? But it’s like the quote says you want this life, you have to chose to get ahead…. those choices are necessary. So it all comes down to one question. Do you have what it takes to walk away from it all? 

xoxo

Its Where The Story End

Silenced By The Night

“I lie in the dark, I feel I’m falling”… Music inspires thoughts. Its 2am and i’m awake listening to Keane’s new track “Silenced By The Night”. You know the kind of music that takes you to another place in your mind?

I know i’m not the only one who likes to think their life has a soundtrack, like some incredible movie and even go as far to pretend that the music playing is going with a particular scene in your life! You won’t admit it… but i will. While i’m admitting things… i might as well just put it out there that i have completely given up on love or anything remotely close to it in anyway. 

I’m starting to think that “love”, only really comes around when you have least expect it and no thats not a tactic to trick the universe into bringing love my way. I’m just really over all of it and i’m starting to become content in knowing that love wont be coming my way. One thing i think is important in successfully becoming content with this, is to make an effort to not become cold in the process. I don’t think that solves anything really, it just makes you bitter. Instead i’m just focusing my enegery elsewhere. However i still believe in “like” and that’s where i’m prepared to leave it for now, because in most cases “like” doesn’t go very far. 

“Because the people in this town, they look straight through me”

xoxo

Its Where The Story Ends 

Scared of the Unknown

Today was a normal day like every other day. I was still pretty upset about what happened on the weekend. It was really embarrassing, but i still have no interest in talking about it. It will pass, like everything does in time. 

Besides there is one question that keeps popping into my head. How am i going to make it through this year? I’m scared of the unknown. I’m scared of how quickly the days are going by. Have you ever just sat and looked at the people around you and how everyone is moving extremely fast and your stuck in slow motion? 

In my mind my life has a soundtrack and its that part in the movie where the character is sitting their in slow motion and this incredibly becoming track is playing and they suddenly find the answers to all their questions. I’m at that point but their is just one problem. This isnt a movie, this is real life, there is no soundtrack in the background and i dont have the answers to any of my questions.

Do you?

xoxo

Its Where The Story Ends 

The 2012 Challenge

I’ve created a challenge for myself this year. Something that is very possible i think to create frequent posts, maybe not daily but pretty much almost everyday. We have thoughts everyday, questions and people that influence our lives daily. I’ve always admired writers that can share their lives, thoughts and experiences and make you feel like your apart of their world somehow. You feel like you know them at the end of each post. That is my dream to be able to relate to people and have them relate to me on that kind of level. So this is my serious attempt at creating something like that for the people around who will actually read this blog. I promise to make them too long. I promise to make them sensible and relate-able. 

So if your reading this thanks and keep reading. Your feedback is needed.

xoxo

Its Where The Story Ends

Another Sunday

Another Sunday, Another week is about to begin. I think its scary how time is going so fast. Before you know it, the summer will be here. You know what im really not ready for anything close to that. I want to enjoy the fact that its still a new year. That it isn't already too late to actually make changes, possibly life altering changes and embark on those new adventures.

Sometimes thats all we have, the hope to actually take that huge leap of faith and do something we've always wanted to do with our lives. Some of us only have the word hope to go on. Then you suddenly stop and wonder what is hope? Your going to struggle to find the answer to that question that lurks in the deep wonders of your mind. Im sorry to say that the answer to that question wont come right now. It probably wont ever be answered. But that doesn't mean you cant hold on to it. We all want something to believe in. We all need something to believe in. You may not know what exactly hope is ever. But that doesn't it cant inspire you and motivate you to feel your dreams. Hope may very well take you to the path your destined for or it may drag down the worse possible road. But what else do you have to hold on to? 

Today is never too late to be brand new.

What I Meant To Say

I find myself in the same place i was a few years ago. Wanting to change. Embracing the change. Its almost a new phase of my life is about to begin. Though, i ran from it so many times. I was afraid to embrace the words that were in my heart. Its probably why ive just stopped writing. But in life comes inspiration at times, and the funny thing with inspiration it can come at the most random and indifferent times. I'm use to writing in an old place. But i think that place was too much for me to go back to. So i created a new place. A place that i hope ill embrace my words more openly.
I think the time when i was happy, was when my words seemed to mean the most. When i wrote it actually seemed to mean something. I'm hoping to go back to that place, with change of course, with maturity and experience. And in the end of this entire journey, or even during I'm hoping ill find the words in life, then i shall overcome my fear and write a book. I think i know what i want for once in my life. Ive been searching, ive always known who i am deep inside and outside. Its not faith, if you use eyes. For once in my life, i can truly use the words of others, to come up with words of my own. I'm hoping the music will help me, to create the words that are in deep in my soul come to life. Ive come a long way from the guy i use to be, when i look back its amazing. I'm a complete different person, and i'm changing again. I cant stop it! No matter how i want to sometimes. I'm hoping this change is for the better. I think im finally getting to a real place. Where i can stop whining. Where i can stop and just think for once. I can just stop it all. I can go to a calm place, of reasoning and understanding. The music has helped me, it has given the pure wisdom ive needed for so long. And i think it will always continue to help me.
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living", Its time to change and grow finally, and embrace it. My mind might slip, but ive come to see the bigger picture. I just hope it isnt too late. Its never too late, i suppose. Its important to see that, "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts", But i promise i wont fall, or slip back into the past. I can make that promise because deep down in my heart, i know its over. If I could see the future and how this plays out. I bet it's better than where we are now, but after going through this.It's easier to see the reason why. Ive found "Things do not change; we change". If the change is for the better, we never know. But we have to change, its the only way life will progress. Its the only way we can be happy, in the long run. To be truly, genuinely and completely happy is a wish of everyone's. Everyday we try, we fail. The days can be good, and then the days can be very bad. But i know one thing is sure, it has to happen, because ive gone for too long, living like im not alive. So im gonna start over tonight, beginning with you and i don't want to run from anything uncomfortable, i just want ...NO... i just need this pain to end right here.

"Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer" - Shunryu Suzuki